Author Archive

Art Grant Award/Theme Camp Announcement: Puny Pants Camp

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

We here at Balsa Man Headquarters (BMHQ) have been previously pondering about the potential problem for pantsless partyers and pontificating on proposing protocols to prohibit this practice. Luckily, Puny Pants Posse, aka The Society of Pants for the Wee, have come to the rescue. Here is their latest statement and grant request:

Pants Are Necessary Things - Seriously!

Pants Are Necessary Things - Seriously!

We, the Citizens who think Pants Are Necessary Things, Seriously! (PANTS) are concerned that tiny-person nudity is an epidemic sweeping the nation, causing wanton licentiousness, suggestive hoopla, blindness, and a corruption of the morals of our most precious asset, the children! Some little people have been known to lie around for days, weeks, nay sometimes months completely naked! I shudder to think what sort of lascivious thoughts might come unbidden to the unformed and malleable mind of a child who unwittingly happens upon such an obscene display! With just a tiny $2.69 donation for a tiny cause, you can ensure that such a scene will never mar the dignity and minuscule majesty that is Balsa Man! PANTS will fight tiny-person pantslessness with several specially-developed tools, including our PANTS Trebuchet and our PANTS Cannon, designed to render the pantsless incapable of exposing their hairless, bland crotches to the unguarded eyes of innocents. We will provide pants to any tiny-person without them, and will “convince” those who might be obstinate with the use of our arsenal.

In the name of decency,

Signed, The Puny Pants Posse, aka The Society of Pants for the Wee, aka What Part of Pants Don’t You Understand!

At first, the BPAF art grant review committee was hesitant to award monetary funds to “theme camps,” lest these “theme camps” become popular and get out of hand. However, we can all agree that pants are a necessary thing, and the word alone makes one giggle. Puny Pants Posse: APPROVED. pantspantspants!


Le Petit Pants!

YOU CAN PANTS IF YOU WANT TO – YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR PANTS BEHIND

And if you do happen to leave your pants behind, the Puny Pants Posse would also like to invite you to “The Party In Our Pants” which will take place at Balsa Man, from 6:30 pm to 7:30 pm. Pantsocolodas will be served – BYO tiny reusable cup! Come admire the wall of tiny pants (pantitos?) and fire a pair of slacks from the pants trebuchet!

A small gift from the World’s Largest Collection of the World’s Smallest Versions of the World’s Largest Things!

Friday, August 7th, 2009
World's smallest version of Babe, the Blue Ox

World's smallest version of Babe, the Blue Ox, photo © Erika Nelson

If you’re looking for a tiny replica of the World’s Largest Can of Spinach, Carhenge, or Babe the Blue Ox, look no further than The World’s Largest Collection of the World’s Smallest Versions of the World’s Largest Things (WLCoWSVoWLT).

The WLCoWSVoWLT is more than just a collection, it’s a sideshow-painted Ford Econoline van-turned-traveling-museum full of miniature versions of roadside America attractions.

Erika Nelson, artist and director of WLCoWSVoWLT, is the mastermind behind this magical mobile menagerie of roaming replicas. She often tours the country, seeking out and documenting the oversized kitschy Americana that we can all be proud of. Erika speaks at art schools, universities, art commissions, and is a consultant for cities and Chamber of Commerce who are looking to improve their local skyline with a gigantic fiberglass (or steel, or wood, or whatever) thing.

Think big by thinking tiny

Although she encourages people to think big, Erika knows how to think tiny. Not only does Erika understand the concept of Balsa Man, she loves it. Unfortunately, Erika and her collection will be unable to attend the event; however, she has offered to send on-loan THE WORLD’S SMALLEST VERSION of The World’s Largest Collection of the World’s Smallest Versions of the World’s Largest Things! (seen below).

This marks Balsa Man’s first official tiny art car! Of course, this on-loan miniature van will have to register with the Department of Minute Vehicles.

Erika and the World's Smallest Version of WLCoWSVoWLT

Erika and the World's Smallest Version of WLCoWSVoWLT, photo © Erika Nelson

Along with this minute museum Ericka has offered a donation to the Black Pebble Arts Foundation in the form of a crisp $2 bill!

Thanks Erika!

PS: She also teaches kids how to sculpt things out of SPAM. She is our people.

UPDATE:

WLCoWSVoWLT is Balsa Man’s first interstate piece of art and the BPAF recognizes the daunting task of shipping art across the country. Thus, we are proud to award Erika Nelson tiny transportation & shipping art grant of to cover all postage to and from the event!

Erika’s grant proposal was excellent as it contained an actual size version of the World’s Smallest Version of the WLCoWSVoWLT.